Bubble Baths, Oreo Cookies & Salvatore Ferragamo
As I attempted to cope with an onslaught of strong emotion and fear last weekend, I turned to my old standby’s. I got into hot water. I ate most of a bag of Oreo’s (double cream filling) and went shopping. And then on Saturday morning I looked at a pair of shoes that was so exquisitely beautiful my breath was taken from my body. I fondled them. I stared at them from different angles and then I looked at the price tag. $698.
This only served to increase my lust. I stood there. I have dealt with these emotions and responses before…I knew what to do. Breathe deep. Pull into myself and feel the feelings. Sigh. They all came crowding into me…my disappointment, grief and fear, a sharp sense of abandonment and betrayal.
I stepped out of the shop into the fresh air. I began to walk slowly away from the store. Pondering. Absorbing. Really paying attention to what was going on inside of me. And it was very unpleasant. Upsetting. Confusing. It is so easy to want to hide from these feelings. To believe that Oreos and shoes will do the trick. And for a while, they do. That’s the temptation.
Sometimes even temporary relief is worth it. So for me, I decided that Oreos were an acceptable indulgence. $698 shoes were not. And I also learned for the millionth time that feelings won’t kill me, and that only by fully experiencing them do they drain away. And if they don’t, I can always jump in the tub!